I wanna break the spell that you've created. - chicken soup for my soul... please?

i think... i feel... i am, empty

im constantly tired, im constantly eating too much coz im constantly feeling hungry. have felt rather useless lately, like i don't know what to do with myself, or my life. sometimes i think i've changed, sometimes i think i've not. sometimes i look back at the bespectacled uniformed girl, a familiar face, i wished to be that same girl again, quiet, alone, but peaceful, untouched... unruffled, undisturbed by the world. i constantly plug myself into my phone (mp3; same same), to shut off the noises, to think, to clear, to breathe. whats with having so much friends when you have to put in extra effort to please everyone all the time? im fine with my few friends, im happy, contented. i have this theory, if you've been too happy in a day, you'd probably feel really sad the next, coz you've used up all your happy in you. maybe thats whats bugging me today, have been a little too happy in awhile... now i just feel... nothing. like a dead snail, just a shell, all hollow and empty. i think i worry too much, or panick too much... i know its not healthy, but i couldnt help it. i cant sleep at night, coz im constantly thinking... of what you may ask. that, im not sure myself. maybe its school, maybe its the people im hanging out with, maybe its about family, maybe... maybe. i may be a girl with smiles, but whats behind the smile? im tired of smiling. maybe im emotionally drained coz i feel too much.

but they say, good things dont last forever,  maybe i... maybe im scared